


Leave the past behind

by yukitsubute



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, None - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9267035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukitsubute/pseuds/yukitsubute
Summary: When Kame breaks up with his boyfriend, his life starts spinning upside down - luckily there is someone who's there for him.





	

 

The first time he had seen Jun back in their junior days he had thought of him as a strange weird boy. They hadn’t had  much in common and so they hadn’t had much contact. Kame had had some contact with Nino when he had been younger, because they had lived in the same area, and they had had the same way to work. Kame always admired Arashi and their work and secretly he visited all of their concerts.

Kame had wanted to get in contact with Jun, because it was him he had admired most, but Kame was shy – even though no one could see this. Kame was seen as short-ttempered and stubborn, but in reality he was insecure and not confident about his look and character.

After a while his confidence had risen – and the reason for this had been Jin. He had felt loved and secure when he had been with Jin. He had been the first person who made him feel like this - except his family. This had been a totally new experience for him.

Their relationship had lasted three years. It had been a time with ups and downs. They had loved each other and they had hated each other. Ueda had always said that he had never seen someone fighting like they had done. In the end they had gone separate ways, without a good relationship afterwards – they hadn’t  even looked at each other for a long time.

Kame had been crushed back then. All the self-confidence had been gone soon later. He had lost weight and he had stopped going out anymore. His friends had called him, but he hadn’t called back to meet them. He had gone to work and back home. He had been living without living.

This was the first time he really met Jun. It was in the agency’s corridor. Kame leaned against the wall. He had no power anymore. Every time Kame tried to eat something, he threw up soon afterwards.

“Are you okay?” Kame winced when he heard Jun talking to him.

“Not sure about it,” Kame said honestly.

“What happened?” Jun stepped closer and Kame felt his nervousness rising.

He got mesmerized by Jun’s dark eyes. Jun looked at him closely and there was something sparkling in his eyes.

Kame sighed. He didn’t know why he opened up to Jun while he couldn’t even talk with his friends about his problems. “I think my life is a mess.”

“How about going for a coffee. And when I look at you, you should maybe eat a piece of cake, or two,” Jun suggested.

“Okay,” Kame said. He didn’t want to be in contact with others, but Jun caught him with his smile and his warm aura.

~~~

Jun placed the two cups of coffee on the table and sat facing Kame. “So, what happened to you?”

Jun’s direct way of asking made Kame swallow. His breath got a little faster and he felt the twitching pain in his belly rising again. “My life is a bit upside down right now.” Kame sighed. He hated his life, and he hated himself.

Jun tilted his head. “Lovesickness combined with a low self-confidence sucks.” He twisted the spoon in his cup. For a moment Jun was totally absent-minded. Kame didn’t dare to say something and they stayed silent for some time. Kame could see that Jun must have had similar problems. His eyes looked sad, and Kame had the feeling that he looked into his own eyes. “But you shouldn’t let yourself get drowned by it,” Jun added.

“I don’t get drowned.” Kame sulked. He felt offended and also caught. Of course he knew that he had lost weight and he probably  looked like shit right now, but he didn’t know that everyone else had already recognized it.

“No, of course not.” Jun rolled his eyes. “That’s why you look like you didn’t sleep and you are almost not existing anymore. You got so thin, you look horrible, Kazuya.”

“Not fair,” Kame whispered. His cheeks blushed. Of course Jun was right, but Kame didn’t want to hear that. He didn’t want to see the truth behind all this.

“Take care of you, Kazu. The way you like is not a good one. I’m worried that something worse could happen to you.” Kame blinked. Jun was worried about him? He was concerned about him? Why?

“I am glad that you are worried, but why?” Kame wanted to know.

Jun smiled at him. “You remind me of myself some time ago. Gladly someone kicked my butt and I slowly came out of it, and now it’s already much better. I feared that there is no one who tries to pull you out of this. And no one who tells you the truth about what you look like.”   
Kame didn’t know what to say. He knew Jun was right. No friend saw what happened to him right now. The only person who knew how he felt and who was able to read his gestures and behavior wasn’t even looking at him anymore.

“I’m sorry.” That sounded stupid and there was no reason to apologize for something.

“Kazuya,” Jun sighed. He seemed really worried. “Stop that. Get your ass up and sort out the problems you have. And don’t apologize for something like that. There is no need to do so.” Jun’s voice got more aggravated.

Jun stood up to pat Kame’s shoulder. “Please listen to me,” he said before he left the other.

Kame sat there, staring at the wall. He was totally absent-minded and everything around him got blurry. Something in his belly twitched painfully, but there was something else in him and a certain strength in him rose. Sadly it was just for this moment.

~~~

Kame woke up from a nerve-wrecking peeping tone. He opened his eyes. Everything in this room was white and that was definitely not his bed he was lying in. He tried moving but every inch of his body hurt. He tried turning to the right when he realized that there was an infusion needle in his arm. “What the hell happened?” Kame croaked.

He looked around the room. There was no one in there and Kame slightly panicked. He had no idea what had happened and why he was in hospital. He searched for the remote to call for the nurse, but before he could do so, a doctor opened and a man in a white coat came in.

“Kamenashi-san, you are awake. My name is Shiwamoto. I am your doctor.” The man said.

“What happened to me?” Kame asked. He slowly started getting nervous. He felt his breath get faster and he had the feeling that he wanted to run away but there he saw a well-known face behind the doctor. “Jun-kun?”

“Hey, Kazu,” Jun slipped into the room and walked up to Kame. He looked pale and worried.

“You fainted because of lack of food. You didn’t eat enough food and your body is far too weak now,” the doctor explained.

“When? What day is today?” Kame asked. He wanted to sit up, but he had totally no strength to do so.

“You fainted yesterday after we had our coffee. I was about to leave the room when I heard a loud noise and some juniors screaming for help,” Jun said.

“I can’t remember,” Kame said.

The doctor scrolled through his notes. “Kamenashi-san, I don’t want to sugarcoat something. It’s serious. Your body is weak, you need to eat properly and you definitely need help. Professional help, but also in your private life. I see you have a good friend here, let him help you. You’ll need the support.”

Kame turned to Jun. Actually they weren’t good friends. They hardly talked with each other. Kame wanted to answer, but Jun started first. “We’ll manage this, doctor.”

Kame blinked at Jun. What did he mean? Why was he at his side? Kame’s heart made some jumps.

The doctor nodded. “I’ll leave you for now. You’ll get some more infusions and tomorrow you’ll start with normal food again.”

When the doctor was gone, Kame looked at Jun. “Why are you here?”

Jun stepped closer to sit on the chair next to Kame’s bed. “I already told you I had some similar issues and I don’t want to see you in this condition.”

“Why?”

Jun shrugged. “Maybe because I like you.”

Kame felt numb for a moment. What had Jun said? He liked him? What did that mean? “I’ll make that,” Kame said without reacting to Jun’s words. In the end his insecurity about his body and self- confidence won again.

“I’m sure about it,” Jun smiled. But it was a sort of sad smile.

~~~

Years passed and Kame made it. He left all the dark parts in his past and fought back against the nightmares, fears and doubts.

Jun helped him through this time. They went shopping together, walked around with Kame’s dogs, went to dinner together, but the better Kame felt the less Jun came by. And one day their contact broke almost completely.

Now Kame was nervous. He’d be in a TV show together with Jun. How long had it been since they had talked with each other?

“Kazuya,” Jun smiled at him. Kame’s belly made some jumps. He looked at Jun and got mesmerized by Jun’s eyes immediately. “You look good. How do you feel?”

“I’m okay. Everything is just a little messy because of our hiatus and so on,” Kame replied. “How are you doing?”

Jun stepped closer. Had he always looked so gorgeous? His smile caught Kame. “I am fine. It’s a little stressful, but it’s okay.” Jun’s wrinkles around his lips made Kame almost jump him. “You recovered well.”

“Thanks to your help back then,” Kame said.

“Nah, that was totally nothing,” Jun waved his hand.

“No, that was the major reason I made it through this hard time. Thanks, Jun.” Kame bowed. Of course he had thanked Jun many times before, but he still had the urgent feeling to do it again and again. “And I am really sad that our contact broke,” Kame added. He could feel his cheeks blush, especially when he saw Jun staring at him with his eyes wide open. “Sorry, did I say something wrong?” Kame asked.

Jun needed some time to answer and Kame got more and more nervous with every silent second. “No,” Jun finally said. “You didn’t say anything wrong. I thought that you didn’t want to be in contact with me anymore, so I stopped calling you.”

Kame felt the heat rushing through his body. He hated it that Jun had this feeling. “Absolutely not.” Kame shifted from left to right.

“How about a coffee like back then?” Jun smiled at him.

Kame nodded. The bubbly feeling in him rose.

~~~

Kame took a sip of his hot double-chocolate-caramel-marshmallow-cookie frappé. “That’s so good,” Kame sighed happily.

Jun grinned at him. “I am glad that you eat … or drink … again.”

Kame smiled back. “You really have to taste this,” Kame shoved the cup to Jun’s side. “It’s really much better than your macha latte, believe me.”

Jun took a sip and squinched up his face. “Much too sweet,” Jun coughed.

“It’s not,” Kame pouted. “Okay, it is, but it’s tasty.”

Jun laughed. “Yeah, it is, but you’ll get a sugar rush from it.”

Kame grinned. “But then I’ll have enough power to beat you in the show games later on.”

“Oh, that won’t be that easy. I won’t let you win. You’ll have to fight hard.” Jun nodded.

“I will,” Kame said. “How about going for dinner after the show?” Kame asked. He felt nervous when he realized that what he had asked.

“Do you ask me for a date?” Jun blinked at him.

“No,” Kame nibbled on his lower lip. “Okay, maybe,” he finally said when he saw Jun pulling one eyebrow up, still grinning.

“Yakiniku?” Jun suggested.

“Sounds good.” The warm feeling in Kame rose. Did he really go on a date with Jun? Kame felt like he was hovering in the air and for the whole show he had the urgent feeling to grin like mad. He hoped that no one would notice it.

~~~

Kame loved the smell of grilled meat and tofu. He hardly ever ate yakiniku, because he had hardly any time to do so.

“It’s really nice to see that you like eating again,” Jun put his meat in the sauce and bit full-heartedly into it.

“I am really sorry for causing you troubles back then.” Kame bowed.

“Don’t be stupid. I was worried, but you really did well,” Jun answered.

“I had a real bad time back then and it really sucked,” Kame explained. Back then he had spent a lot of time with Jun, but they had never talked about the problems Kame had. Jun had been there for him and he had taken care of him, but he had never asked for any details. Jun had just been there for him to distract him from his problems.

“I know,” Jun said and Kame had the feeling that Jun really knew what he was talking about.

“It was all a mess and especially  the fight with Jin.” Kame felt something in him clench, even though it had been years ago. The time with Jin had been troublesome, but also beautiful – at least till they had started fighting almost every day. But nevertheless Jin had been his first love and it was almost impossible to forget about this.

“Do you still think of him?” Jun wanted to know.

“Yes,” Kame said honestly. “But not because I still love him. He was my first love and my first boyfriend. That’s what I’ll never forget. It doesn’t matter how bad it ended.”

Jun nodded. “Do you think you are ready for another relationship, or do you already have someone?”

Kame stared at Jun, who just looked at him without any special reaction. “I had some short things going on, but I had never had  the heart to jump into a real thing.”

“Do you think you can now?” What did Jun want from him?

“It depends,” Kame started. “It needs to be the right one.”

The both of them looked at each other intensely. “I want to cook something tomorrow, do you want to come?” Jun asked.

“Yes, I want to come,” Kame replied with a big smile. His heart jumped faster and faster and he felt a good and warm feeling rushing through his body. Something in him opened and he knew what this meant for his future. 


End file.
